Dealing with abuse

Abuse is not an uncommon word.

Abuse for me, is simply the attempt to take dignity and worth from something or somebody through an act or deed.

Today I speak not about verbal abuse, but sexual abuse. Our society is faced daily with stories of sexual abuse especially in this century.

When abuse occurs; something distinct triggers in the brain first, before it runs down the eyes as tears, moves faster to your heart as sorrow, ache and then the body as pain.

The trauma that comes from sexual abuse is far worse than heartbreak. It is terrifying, scary, humiliating and painful. To help you deal with the trauma here are a few suggestions.

First step

Tell God about it: You should know that God isn’t a God of the pure, perfect and spotless, but of the imperfect, beaten-down, wounded, sinful, and spot-full. Trust me this is easy. I, as well as you have made a lot of mistakes in life, because we began with other things first before God.

When God takes second and third place in your life, what place do you think you take in His? So, tell Him about it and ask help with dealing with the experience. He is ever ready to help you, if only you ask.

Second step

Forgive yourself: If you felt it was your entire fault in the first place; FORGIVE YOURSELF. You can’t snap out of the memory, until you forgive yourself. As simple as it sounds, it can be hard; but THIS is KEY.

Third step

Do a sport you enjoy:  No matter what it is, so long as it makes you happy; just do it. It could be racing, biking, tennis, golfing, it could even be exercising .Doing a sport helps to ease the tension in your muscles. When tension builds up, you could fall ill, or do something you will regret. Do some sport and enjoy it.

Fourth step

Join a healthy group: if you did not belong to any, this is time to be a part of one. Could be a ladies fellowship, dancing group, singles/married group, groups of whatever faith you believe in. Get committed to one, socialize. Being a part of a group helps in quick recovery.

Fifth step

Forgive your abuser: I know you might go like “Hey!!! What!!!? I know this may sound absurd and totally unbelievable, but you have to try it. Forgiving your abuser is stripping that person of his/her power over you, thereby making you stronger and most powerful.

Dear, the reason why you still quake and feel that anger so terribly when you think about that incident or hear of the name or even see the person, is because they still got power over you.

To conquer, be victorious and live your normal life is in forgiveness. When you say… “I forgive you” trust me, you’ll feel FLY, the burden is lifted and you feel light.


See a therapist: some victims find it difficult to get over the trauma; hence it is wise that you seek a therapist. A therapist will help you get past the fears and come to a good place of recovery. A good example is “Doctors without borders, they are pretty good.


Nobody has the right to make you feel worthless or useless without your permission. So therefore, shake the dust off your body, clean yourself up, hold your head up high and enjoy your life.

The joke is on them, not you!!!



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